KEVA THE DIVA
AGE – ALMOST 2
BREED: IRISH WOLFHOUND – but really I’m an Aussie-Irish Wolfhound.
So Peeps why do they call me a Diva? Is it my stunning good looks? My long strawberry blonde locks? My lashes that go for days? My supreme acting skills? It’s all of the above Peeps and sooooo much more! What can I say I was born to be a star and I don’t think it’s too much to ask to be treated like one.
Mum says I’m getting a swollen head cause of this “Diva” thing. I’ve explained to her I’m an Irish Wolfhound and that we just naturally have big heads. Honestly the fame hasn’t changed me a bit, I’m still the same down to earth lovable Keva as I’ve always been…….Now please someone fluff my pillow, and ewwww there is a green M & M in with my red ones.
I’ve heard Divas are like celebrities and that celebrities are used to getting what they want – when they want it. Max (my brother -the Husky) said I’m no celebrity and to get of my high horse (or he called ME a high horse, not sure but he definitely said horse). He said he’s a famous writer and doesn’t have a list of diva demands. Well I say you need to “work it baby!!!” (said with a swishing movement of the paw)
I’ve also been hearing about these celebrities “Rider Lists” and I’m certain my star is bright enough for me to have my own. So for future public appearances and autograph signings I expect the following “Rider List” to be checked off at each of my engagements.
* First and foremost – No touching the Diva – unless it is done in a stroking, scratching or patting motion.
* Under no circumstances is there to be a fish tank in my dressing room, in fact – no fish in meals – no fish pictures or paintings – just no fish…….I hate fish.
* Fresh Milk – Who am I kidding, I may be a diva but I’d still drink it if it was lumpy.
* A cat to sniff – you may wish to leave the cat in a cage for both its safety and mine.
* One bone – that has been pre buried for a minimum of 12 hours but no longer than 36.
* One banana – Now I’m a famous diva I need to watch my waistline – who’s kidding who – make it a bunch of bananas and some melted chocolate to dip them in wouldn’t go astray.
* Balls – lots of balls – some of these I will leave behind but most will be destroyed.
*And lastly a white lounge!!! This will be my present to you. By the time I leave there will be a permanent “Keva” body print on it. With the way my fame is rising the lounge will surely sell on EBay for squillions.
Got to go these eyelashes don’t curl themselves
Miss Keva the Diva xo