Month: March 2017

Dear Spellcheck 

Dear Spellcheck. We need to talk. As much as I am the first to admit my spelling skills are below par, we still need to talk. As much as I appreciate your assistance with my ortographobia, we still need to talk. 

I think that it is important for our future relationship. It think it’s important for the health of my phone, a phone that is not meant to be thrown at walls because of your inabilities Spellcheck. 

I can understand when you have issues with some of my Aussieisms (just like that one), I accept this. I can understand when you have issues with my Melisms, I accept this. I can understand when you have issues with my houndisms, I accept this. 

What I cannot understand and will not except is the fact you cannot or refuse to spell a 4 letter word. 1,2,3,4 – can it really be that hard?

For future reference :-

I don’t ever want someone to “duck off”, to “get ducked”, to “duck themselves”.  

I’m never calling someone a “mother ducker” nor a “duck face” and seriously no more “dumb ducks”. 

No more “duck yes” or “duck no” and certainly no “for ducks sake”. 

You can be certain I am never “ducking hot” or “ducking cold”. 

Just like I’ve never been “ducking furious at some duckwitt because they ducked me around and wasted my ducking time” 

I will give you that there may indeed be some dumb ducks, some mother ducks and some useless ducks – rest assured I’m a never referring to any of these. Just like when you correct to “duck duck duck duck” you can again be totally confident that I’m am not calling Donald or Daffy. 

If we can works together on this then great. If not then you can go get ducked!