Month: January 2017

I’ve grew up Aussie Style

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I’ve grew up Aussie Style

I’ve grown up Aussie style, a sun-kissed Wheat-Bix kid,

I’ve played street cricket, broken windows and hid.

I’ve choked on a fly and still been a happy little Vegemite,

I’ve smiled even when the mozzies have started to bite.

I’ve swung from the Hills Hoist then ran from Mums smack,

I’ve learnt that a kid could starve if it wasn’t for Snack Pack.

I’ve made a meal of Nutri Grain and drunk Milk with a Tim-Tam straw,

I’ve lived through summers each hotter than the one before.

I’ve had beer for breakfast and had snag sangers for tea,

I’ve burnt my souls on sand and nearly drowned in the sea.

I travelled to places like Mullumbimby, Goondiwindi and Woolamaloo,

I’ve swatted at Louie and yes I have had a red back on my loo.

I’ve searched the summer night for sleep under a fan,

I’ve been as happy as a pig in shit and been not happy Jan.

I’ve seen the giants of my land, the prawn, banana and the sheep,

I’ve said “she’ll be right” just before I’ve landed in a huge shit heap.

I’ve Slip Slop and Slapped but I’ve forgotten the Aeroguard,

I’ve thrown another prawn on the barbie with mates in the backyard.

I’ve had a Gaytime, cracked a Cornetto and tried every Paddle Pop,

I’ve even had to chuck a sickie after a long night on the Passion Pop.

I’ve gone deaf from cicadas and dealt with the blue arsed fly,

I’ve eaten Pavs and Lammos and poured dead horse on top of a pie.

I’ve done some hard yakka and been flat out like a lizard drinking,

I’ve seen a bogan with a mullet and thought “what the hell was he thinking”.

I’ve said things like “ripper”, “bonza” and “fair suck of the saveloy”,

I’ve melted for day after day, to then greet a wild storm with joy.

I’ve mastered my rites of passage like the full pelt sprint in thongs,

I’ve danced to Acca-Dacca and know the words to John Farnham songs.

I’ve swum at pristine beaches and I’ve smelt eucalypt in the air,

I’ve danced the national dance the “hot sand shuffle” with flair.

I’ve peeled off my skin after long summer days under the sun,

I marvelled at our wildlife and from a few I have had to run.

I’ve grown up in the lucky country, lucky it is peaceful and free,

I’ve now have the great brown land deep inside of me.

I’ve stood for our National Anthem and I’ve screamed oi oi oi,

I’ve grown such pride for my country that nothing could destroy.

I’ve stood under the Southern Cross and been in awe of what I can see,

Cause I’m True Blue, I’m Dinky Di, I am 100 percent proud Aussie.

 

Mel Murray

 

I come from the Land Down Under – Husky Style

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Running with my Wolluf Blondie

She is real big like a hippy Kombi

We took Reenah, but she is nervous

She’s jumps at any din but then goes fast

 

You see, we come from the land down under

With a bush full of native wonder

Some are near some a wander

You better run, better to discover

 

Running when we heard the Rustles

A kangaroo 6 foot four and full of muscles

Spring legs gave him the advantage

He disappeared like me with a vegemite sandwich

 

And I said we come from the land down under

Where the natives we plunder

Some are near some a wander

You better run, better to discover

 

Came across koalas along the way

Cranky buggers bite and they won’t play

I said my dino girls come follow me

Other animals next to chase a platy

 

And they say “A platy oh the wonder”

If it dives we will go under

That platypus will hear our thunder

But he dove too deep and he took cover

 

But we are living in the land down under

And there is plenty left to plunder

We see a bandicoot try to dig under

We all run but he’s taken cover

 

Living in the land down under

With my woman we will plunder

Nothing will stop us or take us under

We don’t run we don’t take cover

 

We are living in the land down under

With my woman we will plunder

What can I hear “shit it’s thunder”

Ok it’s time run and to take cover.

Max Woof

 

The Husky Rescue Centre – 2

 

IMG_2345 (2)The Husky Rescue Centre

1 Husky Lane

Husky Town

To the Owner of Maxwell Francis Murray,

We write again seeking your cooperation regarding the repeated harassment of my staff by your dog Maxwell Francis Murray or as he continues to refer to himself Mighty Max.

After our last correspondence we had a brief period of “Non Max” and staff were once again able to work towards assisting Husky’s in genuine need of help. Unfortunately this was short lived and it did not take long for the Max calls to start up again. We thought with the assistance of caller ID directing all of Max’s calls straight to voicemail that he may get bored and stop. We were incorrect as this did not slow up his persistent calling on little bit. It also left our staff to deal with numerous message each day.

We ask that you take the time to go over this new list with Maxwell and explain why these issues cannot been taken seriously either. We also plead for the love of god can you remove our phone number from your speed dial.

* A Goanna sighting does not warrant a call to our emergency hotline requesting “backup”. We are a rescue organisation and DO NOT send backup. To confirm this includes “backup” for any of the following reasons – baths, vet visits, tick removal, brushing, nor bones being found by sisters.

* Our staff are not trained in “Goanna” in any way shape or form and cannot give advice on catching or tanning and we cannot and will not recommend any recipes.

* Once again Diets are not a form of torture nor break any cruelty laws. With the energy that Max appears to have we would also advise further reducing his intake of food – especially sugar.

* We are a Husky Rescue Centre and we do not find homes for, as Max has worded it “2 Second hand wolfhounds” and we also suggest keeping a very close eye on those hounds.

* We do not control the temperature – we are sorry if Max feels hot but 30 calls a day expressing this fact will not help with his heat control.

* Ravens are not ninjas conspiring g to kill Max or steal his self proclaimed super powers. Could you please also explain that ravens are that colour naturally and that they are not wearing little ninja suites.

* Being left at home while you go out is not abandonment and we will not go looking for you. We also feel it is important to explain that if you are late getting home , that it is highly unlikely that you have been taken by an alien life force, dingos or lions tigers and bears. Most importantly you need to get across that even if you were taken by any of the previous mentioned threats that there is nothing we can do to help.

* We assume from the tale told by Max that you clean his ears and do not try and poke his brains out an attempt to brainwash him. If you cannot explain this to Max please just let the wax build up.

* Finally our staff are not paid to do any of the following duties – home deliver pizzas (or any other form of food), give emergency ear scratches, complete reconnaissance missions on goannas, chat because Maxwell is in the mood to tell a tale, give opinions on poetry, song lyrics nor do we proof read .

I have also attached our previous list as there would be no harm in repeating these to Maxwell a second time.

I hope this will be our last correspondence with you and that we will not be forced to move our offices to Siberia.

Regards

The Husky Rescue Centre.

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* Having to share with his sister is not a form of cruelty.

* Being bathed is not a crime nor a reason to call our emergency hotline.

* The adding of a goat to the family is not a direct threat against Maxwell, Nor does the goat work for the vet (please see Vet below) .

* A diet is NOT a form of torture.

*The sighting of a hair brush does not warrant a terror alert.

* Toe nail clipping is not the same as bamboo being placed under the toe nails.

* The removing of a summer coat does not remove the soul.

* A on-call chef is a luxury and not a basic dog right that he is being refused.

* Being told to be quiet is not an act violence and in Maxwell’s case is totally understandable.

* Being placed on a lead while walking is not forced imprisonment nor does it reduce his lifespan.

* Finally the Vet is not a secret government agent working on a anti dog conspiracy (with the goat).