Before I start, for those that do not appreciate foul language – look away now. No seriously, this may change the way you think of me.
The more I converse with people around the globe the more I’m learning about other countries and their customs. I’m also learning more about myself as an Aussie. The biggest realisation is that we as a people, are really foul-mouthed. I also realise that us Aussie’s take a little pride in this, that we as a nation like to take swearing to new levels of use.
I would like to emphasise this point by taking one swear word and showing you non Australians just what we can do with it. I could use much worse swear words to make this point but I will use what I think is the least offensive as possible. Some swearing connoisseurs amongst you may say the word I have chosen is barely a swear word at all. But us Aussie’s never shy away from challenge and think even the least offending of the swear words should have its place amongst it far superior cousins.
So the word for today’s lesson in Aussie swearing 101 is SHIT! A word that most countries use in a maybe a few different forms. Not us Aussie’s we use this word daily, we use it to show such a huge array of emotions and we use it in all types of conversations.
So let me show you what an Aussie can do with shit – yes I get the pun people. I need to start by saying very few of the Aussie uses for the word shit actually refer to the bodily function you are all thinking about right at this moment.
So how many ways can a Aussie use the word shit you ask? – “SHITLOADS”!
The word “shit” can be used in both a positive and a negative way. Saying someone is “the shit” is the highest compliment – calling someone a “Dipshit” is not. “Shithead” again is not complimentary, unless of course it’s said to a really good friend, that is ok and can been seen as a term of endearment. When something is “shit hot” it is exceptionally good when it “sucks shit” it is as equally bad. Someone can have “shit for brains” and others can “know their shit”.
Now you can scare the “shit out of yourself” and which point you are “scared shitless”. But you can also “shit a brick” at a moment of fear or “shit bricks” at a moment of true terror .
You can be “shit faced” no, not covered in poop, but drunk. People can also “talk shit” and in my experience this is often the result of being “shit faced” at this point it’s best to explain to the person that they are starting to “shit you”.
A “shit box” can be sold to you by a “bull-shitter” of a car salesman that has delivered you a “load of shit” making you believe the said “shit box” is indeed “shit hot”. This is a “shitty” deal.
When someone has “got the shits” it’s best to leave them alone, not because they are running to and from the “shitter”or the “Shit-house”, but because they happen to be in a “shit” mood. Usually the result of some “shithead” giving them “the shits”.
It can be used as an exclamation, “shit balls” for the sporty types, “holy shit” for the religious or for those really special moments “Holy-shit-balls on toast”.
We also define our shit use into animals species, Something can taste like “cat-shit” people can talk “bull- shit”, you can feel like “dog-shit” and someone can be “bat-shit” crazy.
At its most simplistic, it can be “shit yes” or “shit no” then again it can be “let’s get this shit started” and “this shit just ain’t gonna happen”. Or when totally undecided, “I don’t give a shit”.
Most Australians have “eaten shit” again nothing to do with poo. This refers to “eating shit” after being “shit whipped”. “Shit whipped” being the result of an accident so horrific that you are thrown at the ground with such force you take a dirt sample with your mouth. When things go past this point is when, well the “shit hit’s the fan”.
Even Mums around our nation get into the act and most Aussie’s would have childhood memories of asking their mum what was for dinner and being told “shit on toast” or “shit and sugar sandwiches”. Why??? I really have no idea – we just love shit and yes you can refer to a good meal by saying “I love this shit”.
But the only “shit” I find truly inspirational – yes I’m Aussie so of course there would be one, the “shit” I live by. “Shit happens” because let’s face it – in life shit does happen “good shit” ” bad shit” and all the “Shit” in between.